


Stranger to strangest

by Fruitsandlube



Series: The strange ways of godess Bast [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Erik-centric, M/M, au: woke up with a husband, mentions of N'Jobu, mentions of war and war crimes, panther goddess Bast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fruitsandlube/pseuds/Fruitsandlube
Summary: Erik receives an unexpected visit from the panther goddess Bast and a surprise.





	Stranger to strangest

It comes out of nowhere, in the night's stillness, the world outside almost deadly quiet while N'Jadaka's mind drowns, trapped by all its demons on itself and the young man's body. It's been nearly a decade since he was deployed to Afghanistan, ten years now that's he's been back on American soil but his soul didn't. It stayed trapped on foreign soil where sounds of executions, childish cries of despair paint the air, as families are torn apart and all that's left is misery. He's been empty ever since and now he's just a walking gun, a live weapon of war, a man who no longer knows how to live; he now only knows how to take a life.

He is simply Killmonger.  

Once upon a time, he was N'Jadaka in the comfort of his home, and Erik on the basketball fields and amongst kids like him. What feels almost like a lifetime ago was only twenty years before, when life was still somewhat sweet. And he still had roots wrapped up around him that kept him on the right path, kept him basking in the warmth of the love of his parents,  kept him under N'Jobu's wisdom. A long time ago that too, his father's wisdom, N'Jadaka taught it would be eternal and that no matter what, his pops voice would always keep him afloat. However, it didn't happen, oh well it stopped completely after the first time he got deployed, a sign the dead father didn't agree with son's new life. But is it really a life though, to wage war and terror on others? Especially considering the fact Erik doesn't even believe in fighting for his freedom all the way across the world, for what?

 _My freedom's been violated right here my whole life!_ He thinks silently, fumes when his hierarchical superiors think he's on their side.

Erik has no side to be on, has no one to lean on, he has no one at all.

N'Jadaka also has no one and it's funny, it's almost like two people are living in the same body and yet loneliness is suffocating them both every day.

That and the trauma, the PTSD, the rare occasions he gets to sleep are now nearly nonexistent. Erik's been taking them sleeping pills for so long, even if the dosage is increased often, it feels like they don't work on him anymore. Nights are elongated periods of a void, the kind that eats at your soul and laughs at you once you realize how messed your life has become. Unexpected and unwanted nightly visits of strange spirits are next. For Erik, it starts with an unprompted meeting with the panther goddess Bast one stormy night of August. A night during which he wasn't supposed to dream, sleeping tablets do that to you, though that's precisely why he takes them. There hasn't been a peaceful night for him in almost two decades since he lost both his parents the same year.  This one night though, almost as soon as his eyes closed, he could feel the telltale sleek embrace of sleep and it's warmth and comfort wrap itself around him. It's that one, the one which takes your spirit away to a place of content and peace. A place that most people crave every damn day of their life, but so less only touch it by the tip of their fingers, and Erik, he was no exception.

 

Yet he knows it, as his hands come in contact with sand, that he's no longer in his room. What is this place? He wonders as his eyes open and takes in the starlight night sky and the baobab trees. His eyes are presented with the most beautiful night sky he's ever seen, glorious shades of purple and indigo entwined in the most sublime way to create a live masterpiece. The whole thing has an eerie feel to it, calm but Erik knows better than to get comfortable in this unknown place. Even if it reminds him of his late father, strangely. The sound of leaves fluttering behind him make him turn and lay eyes on the most magnificent thing he's ever put eyes on. It's a black panther with fur shiny like silk, sumptuous like it possesses all the beauty in the world. It walks slowly but surely like predator it is but also with grace, the level of only a deity can own.

And so instantly N'Jadaka knows, it's the goddess Bast.

It's her, the mysterious and glorious legend N'Jobu used to tell him tales of. It is also her which spiritually leads Wakanda and lands her strength to her people because they're humans and humans are made of flaws like that. It's her who all those centuries ago ended the war between tribes, it's her who lead the people to peace and unity through Bashenga, and now she's here. Her gaze that calls for authority, the same gaze who dips into the deepest part of him and scatters the many walls previously drawn up around it.

“N'Jadaka, son of N'Jobu,” a voice calls, it rings in his head, but he knows it's the goddess addressing him, “your father's concern rings loud and bothers the peace of my ancestral plane. How can the dead send strength and wisdom to the living, if themselves need it to appease their own turmoil? However, I do not blame him, for I know for a mortal like you all how difficult it must be to lose a child. It must be even worse to see him waste his life away.” At that N'Jadaka wants to interject but feels like something is forcibly shoving his voice down his throat, making the words stuck there.” You've accomplished nothing but war and terror, and I won’t allow it. As you know long ago, the people of our land were too going through the turmoil you're presently facing, they were too waging war and building nothing. They too were incapable of moving forward, of letting the demons of yesterday in the past, and then I showed them the light.”

“Why now?” N'Jadaka manages to get out, his eyes widen, and he continues in haste,”I used to pray, to call to you when I was a kid when I needed somebody. Where were you then?!”

“I was taking care of my other children, for if you had been raised with them, you'd know they also need guidance and care. And I offered it to you, through your father all those years but you decided to abandon yourself to that hellhole your life has become!”, she roars, snatching the power of the situation back. “No one can help you if yourself are not even interested in being helped! Or did you think someone would come to hold your hand when you were abroad, murdering men, women, and children in the name of a flag you don't even believe in ?! Consider yourself lucky, son of N'Jobu, that your father loves you so much and implored my clemency so that you too, could get a chance at belonging somewhere. It is that your greatest problem, no? That no one leads you and no one is there every time you make mistakes to get back up?  Well, rejoice you'll get a new perspective of life soon, and do your very best to never ruin it otherwise your father's cries would have all been in vain.”

 

Then everything, Bast, the forest, the purple night sky all of it disappears and Erik is left in the dark. Oh, well it's a true illustration of his mind he thinks. But even then, he's not at peace, it feels like something's shaking the ground, pushing against it and a voice reaches his ears.

“N'Jadaka, beloved, you're safe!” the voice says, and he realizes it's him that is being shaken. Someone's trying to wake him up, “I'm here, wake up, it's all well and good now.”

Somehow Erik knows what to do, closes his eyes slowly and before he knows it, he's on a bed. A strong and warm body pressed onto his, a big hand carefully cupping his cheek, a pair of marble brown eyes staring right back at him. His confusion must be clear on his face because man (nearly on top of him!) furrows his brows and the emotion bleeds into the man's features.

“Are you alright, my love?” he asks firmly but gentle all the same and it makes things worse than, because Erik can feel just through his voice how much the man must care about him. He seems genuinely concerned, and then a tinge of something else too, which Erik cannot name.” You've had a nightmare again, it's the first time in quite some time and I know you must be disappointed they're back but I promise I'll be there for you, just like last time.”

“Last time? I-I don't -” Erik begins but strangely can't find the words to properly explain himself, can't find what to say.

“I know, sithandwa sam, I know.” he murmurs moving to lay down on his back and dragging Erik with him, plastered against his body like they were one single person.” Come now N'Jadaka, sleep and I promise to be there again if your night gets disrupted, like always. I'll be there every time you dearly miss your father and I will also hold you when demons of the past threaten to take you down again.”

"What is it they say in the West again when exchanging vows?” he wonders aloud, his deep and soothing voice washing over Erik like a tide of peace,”ah yes, I promise to love and cherish you for better and for worse. So let me do that and tomorrow like you always do, you'll do the same for me.”

 

T'Challa is the man's name, it pops in his brain like a bubble and writes itself on his heart in a heartbeat. N'Jadaka doesn't know how he suddenly got to know that all he knows is, for now, he can rest, from now he's no longer alone. From now, he belongs somewhere with someone, T'Challa.

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I wrote this at like 2 am so really sorry if you found typos I'll clean that up soon. Hope you liked this os and please drop a comment, kudos are appreciated as well :)


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